


Not an Instruction Manual

by RedGold



Series: For SSGarcy [2]
Category: Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: Canon Divergent, F/M, Flynn deserved better, Flynn needs a hug, Prompt Fic, leeches, the sequel (no)one person asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 04:39:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18003980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedGold/pseuds/RedGold
Summary: Sequel to 'In Case You Forget Her'Now that Flynn knows the truth of the previous timeline, he has to face some truths about himself.He is allowed to be loved.





	Not an Instruction Manual

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThatBoat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatBoat/gifts).



> The first story was written directly from a prompt off of Twitter. If you haven't read 'In Case You Forget Her' you really should for this to make sense.
> 
> This is for SSGarcy who is a horrible enabler.

**Not an Instruction Manual**

“Flynn,” he hears Lucy say his name, because of course she does.

Darkening his phone, Flynn glances up at the woman who has invited herself to set across from him at the table. He’s been sitting there for a while, everyone ignoring him, failing to pretend like they aren’t. Only Lucy would be the one to approach him. 

“You heard,” he says, reaching for his beer.

“Jiya told us.” She nods, her eyes searching his. “About how Mira came to be here... about the _Carpathia_ and what... didn’t happen.”

He can’t look at Lucy. The memories of kissing her, being with her, seared into his very skin. 

It had been a mistake, they all knew that now.

Lucy was in love with Wyatt, it seemed to be the only constant thing in their ever-changing world. He had spent too much time trying to fight fate. He lost Lucy as a close friend, a confidant. All he had left was his drive to rid this world of Rittenhouse and give his family back their lives. 

“She seems nice,” Lucy offered quietly. “Reminds me a bit of Lorena, at least from what you’ve told me. That kind of no-nonsense military attitude with a hint of dry wit.”

“Is there a point to this?” he says harsher than he means to.

Lucy opens her mouth but says nothing.

Flynn takes a drink, downing the rest of the liquid that is clearly not strong enough.

Reading the letter, learning all the things about Mira that drew himself to her... it hurt more than it had any right to. He lost something he never knew he had, never felt, and perhaps that was crueler. To know he had been happy, and it was taken away from him, again.

“You going to be okay?” Lucy askes him and it feels like genuine concern.

“Yeah,” he says as he sits up, clearing his throat. “She’s moving her stuff out of my room right now.”

Lucy frowns. “That’s not what I asked.”

“We’re both adults who knew what we were getting into,” he tells her, knowing the words to be true but that didn't make him feel any better. “Like you said, she seems nice. There is no reason we can’t all be friends.”

When he had hugged Mira, there was a distant familiarity between them. She knew his body, but he didn’t know hers. It felt warm, comforting... but it was a goodbye, not a hello. That’s all he could give Mira, there was nothing else he could promise her other than a chance to let go and move on. 

And he would try to be her friend.

Wyatt clears his throat as he approaches. “Sorry to interrupt, but you have to see this.”

“What is it?” Lucy askes.

“Remember Jiya saying Mira took your place on some medical related trips?” Wyatt places a few file folders on the table, spreading out documents.

Lucy nods at him. "Elizabeth Blackwell survived in this timeline, thank goodness.”

Flynn thought back to his letter, of telling himself about that trip. How Mira, for all her military and medical training, couldn’t quite get over the idea of being in the past and that made her freeze up. So he stood with her, hand on her back, keeping her grounded.

And then afterwards, kissing her, holding her, and for the first time since Lorena died... he felt at peace. 

“We were busy.” Wyatt was oblivious to Flynn’s mood, but that was fine by Flynn. “We’re farther ahead in defeating Rittenhouse. We’ve had some breakthroughs.”

The next half hour was spent looking through the documents, seeing that yes, they were ahead. Because they had that extra resource, that ability to keep Lucy in the present so they could fight the battle on two fronts, this was truly a better timeline.

Better for everyone but him. He was no closer to saving his family and he was alone.

Flynn scratched at his forehead when he didn’t think anyone was looking. He needed to stop feeling sorry for himself. He needed to just move on. He needed to stop looking at the photos.

He had left his phone in his room, no point in taking it to 1955, so all the pictures were still there. They told their own story, one which ran parallel to the letter. Selfies, candid moments, moments made intimate by the softness and love in their eyes. It mocked him, reminded him of what he lost. 

What he will always lose. 

_You are allowed to be loved,_ he had told himself. 

What’s the point of being loved if he’s going to always lose that which he loves? Lorena. Lucy. Mira. 

When Flynn got back to his room, it was a little more empty, had a lot less soul. He sat on the bed and he could feel it, the sinking weight of being alone.

There was no fighting fate, he was meant to be alone.

_**If you’re reading this, it means something has once again changed in the timeline. We’re all writing letters now, we should have been doing it from the beginning, but even with a time machine we are victims of hindsight.** _

_**Attached is my previous letter to myself, from a timeline where Mira Betov came into our lives... my life. She made me feel loved, and at peace. She gave me the strength to fight fate.** _

_**And then I forgot her.** _

It was about a week into the new timeline, everyone needing a bit of time to get adjusted to all the changes. There was a new person in the bunker that four of them didn’t know, hadn’t learned to completely trust yet, but that was just something to be worked on. 

“I am terrible at this,” Lucy says as she throws her cards down. She’s not angry, lightly laughing at herself. 

They had nothing better to do, so Jiya gathered everyone around the table for a game of poker. No actual stakes this time, M&M’s being used for poker chips, because winning wasn’t the point. It was about coming back together as a team. 

Stories got swapped, questions answered, and beer consumed. 

Flynn chose his seat carefully so as not to be across from Mira, but not next to her either. Just off kilter enough to legitimately avoid eye contact with her. He wanted to be able to be friends with the woman, he just needed to get over the feelings that weighed him down when he remembered she’d seen him at his most vulnerable, in more ways than one. 

Time, that’s all they needed.

“I fold,” Flynn threw down his hand. He only had a pair of sevens and he could see that Wyatt was fairly confident in his own hand.

“I call,” Mira put some blue M&M’s in the center, then some red. “I raise you.”

Wyatt considered the wager, his eyes squinting slightly. “It’s not fair, this is the first time I’ve played poker with you. But the reverse is not the same.”

Mira leaned back in her chair, taking her beer with her. “Sounds like a personal problem, Delta Force.”

Everyone at the table got a good little chuckle out of that and Flynn found himself smiling. 

A solid minute passed and Wyatt threw his cards down. “Fold.”

“Two pair.” Mira laughed as she turned over her cards, then reached for her bounty.

“I had a flush!” Wyatt whined while everyone burst into laughter. 

_**By the time the game was over, all the tension had been released and Mira was re-accepted into the fold, as it were. I fully accepted that things would be awkward between us for a bit, if only because everyone tried their best to ignore the elephant, which only brought more attention to it.** _

_**Eventually something was going to have to give, there was just no way to know which way it would fall. And oddly enough, I have Wyatt to thank for it.** _

“Why are you all covered in mud and grass?” Jiya asked as the team exited the lifeboat.

“The Rittenhouse agent hired some local guys,” Wyatt explained, his suit dropping chunks of dried dirt onto the floor. “We tracked them down, there was a fight in a bog or something.”

“And you didn’t think to shower before getting mud all in the Lifeboat?” Jiya crossed her arms, very perturbed. Mira and Christopher came walking up behind her. Both women shaking their heads at the state of everyone.

“The Lifeboat was closer,” Lucy admitted, her hair a complete matted mess. 

Rufus was the last one down, he tried to give Jiya a kiss but she was clearly not letting him anywhere near her until he was clean. “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of it later.”

“I believe we were going to roshambo for the shower?” Flynn smirked, somehow only getting mud on half of his face, a near perfect line.

“No ladies’ first?” Lucy pouted.

“I have mud in places I didn’t know existed,” he replied. Normally he would be more gentlemanly but, yeah, no, there was far too much mud.

“You three fight it out,” Wyatt said as he rubbed at his arm. Flynn had noticed he’d done that a few times since the fight. “Mira, I got an itch that won’t go away. I think something bit me.”

Mira gestured to the table where her kit was sitting. “Come over and let me take a look.” 

The two wandered off and it’s left to the three of them to decide who gets to shower first. 

“You know,” Rufus turned to Lucy, “if you let one of us go first, then you and Wyatt can shower together.”

She narrows her eyes at him, it’s tempting. “No way, I am not sharing the showerhead with anyone until I can shampoo my hair, twice.”

“Darn it,” Rufus snapped his fingers.

Flynn sighs. “Alright, I’m willing to go second, if you two want to battle for first and third, but I am not going last.”

“I need to get someone in here to run another shower,” Christopher sighs.

“Yes,” all three of them reply.

Mira rejoins them, immediately saying, “I need to know where you guys went into the mud.”

“Where we were?” Lucy asks.

“You said you got into a fight in a bog?” Mira clarified.

“North of Milwaukee,” Flynn tells her.

“And this was 1901.” Mira was thinking, pulling out her phone and opening a browser.

“Rittenhouse had some kind of plan involving Victor Berger and the Socialists Party of America,” Lucy explained. “I don’t think Rittenhouse is very keen on Democratic Socialism.”

Mira darkened her phone and slipped it into her back pocket. “I’m going to need to examine all of you.”

“What, why?” Rufus asked.

“Wyatt was bit by a leech,” she says without preamble. “Leeches live in boggy areas and there is a long-standing active colony of them north of Milwaukee. Any of you could have bites, or even leeches on you right now.”

“Right now?” Lucy held her arms out like she’s suddenly afraid of her own body. “Wouldn’t we notice?”

“No, leeches release an anaesthic when they bite,” Mira explained. “I want to see each of you in the med room now.”

“Why am I suddenly itching all over?” Rufus was literally twitching. 

Wyatt, who was standing behind Mira, speaks up, “Should I be worried about lime disease or something?”

“They’re not ticks.” Mira sighed. “They clean the blood they intake quite thoroughly. I’m more worried about you getting an infection from the open bite wound.”

“Seriously, itching here.” Rufus was already starting to strip.

“I guess I’ll see Rufus first.” Mira moves forward and takes him gently by the elbow. “The rest of you, line up at the door.”

It’s hard to sit there, outside the med room, feeling pretty sure you’re leech free, while your brain tries to convince you that you’re covered in them. Even Jiya, who no way could have gotten one, was feeling itchy all over. So they chatted about their next move against Rittenhouse to take their mind off of it.

A little bit later, Rufus came out of the room wearing nothing but a hospital gown and looking extremely relieved. “No leeches or bites.”

“Who’s next?” Mira asks from just inside the room.

“Lucy.” Wyatt gestures to the door. She gets up and walks into the room, closing it behind her. 

“Guess I am getting the shower first,” Rufus says and walks down the hall with Jiya. 

This is when it clicks for Flynn. Mira is going to have to see him completely naked. She’s going to want to check everywhere for those slippery bastards. And while he normally wouldn’t care, because why would he… Mira wasn’t just a doctor, she was his former lover who knew every inch of his body. He’d never seen her in anything less than a t-shirt and jeans. 

He knows he shouldn’t think that way. 

It’s not like had any hang ups about nudity, far from it. And it’s not like he thought Mira owed him anything. It was just… they had been lovers and he didn’t remember it. 

Time travel problems.

Lucy came out in a hospital gown. She showed them her ankle which had been cleaned of the mud and a waterproof bandage placed on it. “I got bit too.”

“Next,” Mira calls out.

Flynn gives Wyatt a ‘you go first’ look. Flynn knew the man would want to get checked and back to Lucy as soon as possible, and Flynn was in no hurry.

Wyatt disappeared into the med room, closing the door behind him. 

“You going to be okay?” Lucy asks him. 

“I’ve dealt with worse than a few leeches,” Flynn replied, fully ignoring what she actually meant.

“I know we had our… falling out,” Lucy sighed and sat down next to him. “But I still care about you, consider you a close friend. Nothing is ever going to change that.”

“I know,” he nearly mumbles because of how much it hurt. 

Before coming back to this new timeline, he was pretty close to finally being able to put Lucy behind him, romantically speaking. But after learning about this timeline, this _what if_ situation, where he didn’t put himself through that heartache and came out better for it… all old wounds opened up anew. Now he just… hurt… for more reasons than he could comprehend.

“If you want to talk, really talk, I am here for you,” she tells him, taking his hand.

Flynn pulls away. “Wouldn’t want Wyatt to get jealous.”

“I’m going to ignore that,” she says with a very put-out expression. “You are my friend, Garcia Flynn, and I will say it as many times as it takes for you to figure that out. I owe you a lot, and I have a lot to make up for, so if you need to talk, then you come to me. I want you to be happy, and not just to make myself feel better, but because you deserve it, after everything you’ve gone through.”

He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t know what to say, and frankly, he just wants to fight everything. It’s John Rittenhouse all over again. She told him then he could be a father again and all he wanted to do was prove her wrong because he didn’t believe himself worthy. Not in this timeline at least.

So they sit in silence until Wyatt exits the med room, also dressed in a hospital gown, several bandages plastered on his skin. 

“Apparently, leeches love me,” he says drolly, then points at Flynn. “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything,” he defends himself but fails to hide his grin.

“You were thinking it.” Wyatt narrows his eyes but even he starts to chuckle.

“Next,” Mira calls out. 

“Save me some hot water, will you?” Flynn asks as he stands.

Not waiting for an answer, he slips inside the med room and closes the door behind him. 

Mira is standing over at the counter, she’s throwing out the supplies she used to clean and disinfect Wyatt’s bites. “Undress and place your clothes in the pile.”

Her voice is very professional and he’s reminded that she is a combat medic and was able to compartmentalize. She’d treat him like everyone else. Just take a breath and treat this like what it was, a physical examination to make sure he didn’t have a leech or an infected bite. 

“Sit on the edge of the exam bed,” she tells him as she puts on a new pair of gloves. 

Doing as she says, he manages not to look at her as she takes one of his ankles and lifts his leg. Shining a light on the skin, she looks up the leg for the tell-tale signs of a leech bite. In areas with mud, she’d use an alcohol wipe to clear the dirt enough to be sure there was no bite hiding underneath. 

Flynn had no idea what he had been worried about, there was absolutely nothing sexy in what was happening. 

She examined his other leg, then went after his arms next, methodically checking. Then came his chest, his back, his neck and scalp, the last of which she had to use a step stool to get to properly. The only words spoken were directions and clarifications. 

“Okay,” she stood back, “now is when I tell you to turn your head and cough.”

Flynn blinked at her.

“Doctor humor,” she smirks. “I need you to stand so I can check the genital area.”

“Right,” he says and suddenly he feels awkward again.

“Hey,” she goes soft for a second, “I know what you’re thinking, and if it would make you feel more comfortable, I can get someone else to check. I’ve been teaching Jiya how to basically be a nurse. Denise is a mom, or I can grab one of the guys?”

“No, it’s fine,” Flynn says and stands, walking a few feet forward. “Nothing you haven’t seen before, right?”

“That’s the spirit,” Mira smiles, it’s a simple thing and he kicks himself. 

As difficult as this was for him, it had to be worse for her. She was the one who lost him, who actually remembers the relationship. But here she was, doing her job. So he stands perfectly still and attempts to relax as she checks him, her hands firm and clinical. 

“You’re clean,” she says as she finishes. “Grab a gown and go get yourself a shower.”

“Thanks,” he says, a feeling of silliness washing over him as he grabs the gown off the tray table. 

“I’m thinking Wyatt must have fallen into a cluster of them, that’s why he was bitten more.” Mira moves over to the counter and starts to remove her gloves. “Lucy was likely close to him, as always, and that’s why she got bit.”

“Sounds reasonable,” he says as the wraps the almost too short gown around himself. “Rufus and I were split off from them for most of it.”

“Well, everyone should be fine.” She turns around and leans on the counter. 

“Thank you,” he says, the _for not making this weird_ being left unsaid.

“You’re welcome,” she replies and now things were going to turn weird if he didn’t leave. 

But things weren’t going to get better either.

“Mira,” he says before he loses the nerve. “Did you… did you want to try again?” 

She swallows hard. “Try again?” 

“Us,” he clarifies even though he knows she understood. “Did you want to try to make a go of it?”

Mira’s eyes turn sad as her body seems to deflate. “The letter was a biography, to let you know what happened, and to remind you that you’re allowed to be loved and cared for. But it’s not an instruction manual. As much as I hate to admit it, the truth is… the Flynn in the letter, he’s not the same man you are.”

It was the same cold logic that she had told his other self about Lucy. The Lucy in the journal was not the same as the one he met in 2016. Now Mira had her own journal-Flynn. The man who stood before her was different, had his heart broken, learned all his lessons the hard way, and was a changed man for it.

“I want us to be friends,” her voice is laced with sadness. “But thinking that we have to get together because we did once before, that’s a feeling which won’t serve either of us.”

“I suppose you’re right,” he admits, and an undeniable weight is lifted off him. 

_**When it came down to it, I guess I was more afraid of being vulnerable than anything else. Trust is an important thing for me, you know that. Mira showed me that I could trust her, she wouldn’t use what she knew about me against me. She just wanted me to be happy again. And happiness wasn’t to be found chasing another ghost from a different timeline.** _

_**I knew in that moment exactly why I had fallen in love with her. But in that moment, I wasn’t in love with her. Maybe I would never be again.** _

_**But I needed her in my life, I needed that friend.** _

“Well, looks like you’ll be going back 1901 again,” Mason read off the computer screen. “Shoreham, New York.”

“Wardenclyffe Tower,” Flynn said immediately and he started to feel like a five year old on Christmas morning.

“Of course,” Mason agreed. “Rittenhouse would be interested in the technology and, as we well know, J.P. Morgan was Rittenhouse.”

“Someone want to fill the rest of us in?” Wyatt asked.

“Tesla,” both men said at once.

“Nikola Tesla?” 

Flynn gave him the ‘are you kidding me’ face, but answered, “Wardenclyffe was his experiment in wireless power transmissions. It didn’t have the financial backing it needed, so it ultimately failed, but, well, it’s Tesla, he was probably on to something.”

Christopher crossed her arms. “I’m sure Rittenhouse would be interested in his inventions, alright, get going.”

“This is actually a good opportunity for us,” Lucy says before anyone can move. “Flynn knows more about Tesla than I do. I can stay back and we can start putting our plan into place.”

“Flynn?” Christopher asked for confirmation.

“Tesla is a fellow Croat,” he says with pride. “I would say that yes, in this case, I know far more than Lucy does.”

“Okay then,” Christopher thinks fast. “Wyatt will have to stay because Lucy will need a soldier with her if things go south. I can’t do it because I have my own tasks to perform for this plan to work.”

“I’ll go with the team,” Jiya gestures to Rufus and Flynn. “I mean, Nikola Tesla, geeking out a bit here.”

“I suppose you want the fourth seat then?” Christopher asks Mason.

“I am going to have to _very_ reluctantly decline.” Mason frowns. “I have my own role to play in this master plan of ours. It could wait, of course, but this would be the most prudent time of attack, all three of us at once.”

“I agree.” Lucy nods. “If we pull this off, then Rittenhouse isn’t going to know what hit them.”

“That leaves the fourth seat free,” Jiya says.

Everyone in the room turned to the only other person there, the one who had remained quiet the whole time.

“Why are you looking at me?” Mira asks. “This isn’t a medical related trip.”

Jiya waves her off. “We have an open seat, and it never hurts to have an extra pair of hands, plus, you were military right, you can shoot.”

“I have basic firearm training,” Mira points out. “I’m a doctor. I only carried for self-defense.” 

“No time to argue,” Christopher slipped into her mom voice. “Mira, go with them, there is no reason to leave a seat empty.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Mira replies reluctantly.

The team quickly loaded themselves into the Lifeboat and headed for 1901. Upon touchdown, they found themselves some clothes. Flynn was dressed in a nice suit while Rufus was a bit more worker-chic. Jiya and Mira both picked dressed that were simplistic, basically jackets over skirts.

“You’re going to be chill when we meet Tesla, right?” Rufus asked as they got a horse and buggy to the sight of Tesla’s tower. 

“Of course,” Flynn rolls his eyes at the man. 

Flynn was not chill.

When Tesla realized Flynn was a fellow countryman the two started speaking in their native tongue. Somewhere, in the back of his head, Flynn knew he was acting just like Lucy. Who cares, it was Nikola Tesla. 

“No sign of Rittenhouse,” Rufus reminds him that they are there for a reason as Tesla steps away because one of his assistants is doing something wrong.

“I’m keeping an eye out,” he promises.

Rufus just gives him a look which is echoed by Jiya and Mira standing behind him. 

Okay, so maybe he could pay a bit more attention. 

It was a good thing too, because Rittenhouse was indeed after Tesla’s work, the things he kept hidden, even after his death in 1943. The man was loathe to give up any secrets, but Rufus and Jiya proved brilliant enough to gain his trust, especially as Flynn vouched for them. And this is how Tesla came to be running through the Wardenclyffe building with them, fleeing Rittenhouse agents.

“There’s only three of them left,” Flynn says as he takes stock of where they are in the building. He has a plan. “Stay here, keep them pinned, I’m going to flank them.”

“Right,” Mira mumbles as she checks her ammo, moving towards the door. She takes up position with Jiya who had snagged a gun off one of the agents they already felled.

Flynn leaves them to take pot shots at the men as he jumps through a window and heads down the side. Just as he thought, he was able to get back into the building behind the agents. He picks off the one closest to him without the other two noticing in the chaos of gunfire. 

Getting into better position, Flynn takes out the second to last one. The other guy sees this and turns on Flynn, firing. Flynn barely gets out of the way, the bullet whizzing past. He falls in his haste to move, slipping on the tiled floor. One more shot rings out and then everything goes silent.

Pulling himself up off the ground, Flynn peers down the hallway. The last man is laying on the floor, unmoving as a pool of blood grows around him. Looking farther down, at the room the Team had taken shelter in, he can see Mira, gun half lowered from where she had it raised, a look of devastation in her eyes. 

She sees him and she blinks, she pushes it away, but it’s still there and she’s numb for the rest of the day. 

They talk to Tesla, make sure the next forty years stay on track, for the most part. They might have said one or two things that make his life better, as they did to Hedy Lamarr, but otherwise the timeline remains intact and Rittenhouse loses out.

“Everything turn out okay?” Lucy asks them as they exit the Lifeboat.

“For the most part, yes,” Flynn answers, his eyes flit over at Mira who is still quiet. “How did it go on your end?”

“Better than we could have hoped,” she replies and the conversation turns into a debriefing as they gather around the common area. 

It does indeed look like this might be the turning point they were waiting for. They're so close to taking out Rittenhouse once and for all. They still aren’t sure about how to save his family, and Amy, but at least Rittenhouse would be destroyed, and he will have achieved one good thing.

Everyone is in fairly high spirits, even Mira seems to smile. But Flynn could tell something was wrong, and he knew exactly what it was. So when the night wound down and everyone started to head off to bed, Flynn waited for his chance to slip to Mira’s room unnoticed. He didn’t want people to get the wrong idea.

“Did you need something?” Mira asks after she opens the door.

“Can I come in for a minute?” he asks in return.

She thinks it over, then opens the door wider so he can step inside. “What’s this about?”

“It’s about the fact you’re a doctor,” Flynn just comes out and says it, “and you took a life today.”

Whatever emotional wall she had been hiding behind came crumbling down and she started to fall apart. He reached forward and held her, let her bury her face in his chest to muffle the cries. They stand like that for as long as it takes for Mira to stop shaking.

Mira eventually goes weak, so he lightly picks her up and sits down on the bed, letting her curl around him. She’s his friend and she needs comfort. She needs to let it all out before she starts to numb permanently to keep the pain at bay.

“This is stupid,” she says, wiping at her cheeks. “It’s not like I don’t know what you do on these missions. You killed a man right in front of me, the agent who shot Blackwell.” Her words are fast and bumpy. “That guy was going to shoot you. I know I did nothing wrong, but I’m a doctor. I feel like I let everyone down.”

He knows his words would sound like empty platitudes, so he says nothing. Instead, Flynn holds her, lets her talk and cry and shake. He wanted to protect her, make her feel safe, and in a way, loved. Just like...

Staring down at her, she doesn’t look at him, because she’s buried her head against his chest. 

This isn’t the _Carpathia_ , and Mira isn’t Lucy. Mira isn’t looking to drown herself in him, use him, not like that anyway. Not like Lucy had. The panic that started to rise in his chest slowly slips away. 

Eventually Mira falls asleep, so he carefully lays her out on her bed and pulls the blanket across. He debates with himself if he should stay so that he’s there when she wakes up, but thinks better of it. She might find herself feeling far too vulnerable if he stayed. So he makes his way out of the room, walking quietly.

“Hey,” Jiya says from the corner and it almost startles him, almost, he’s a trained soldier.

“It’s not what it looks like,” he immediately defends himself, and Mira.

“Huh?” Jiya frowns. “And here I thought you were comforting a friend who went through an emotional trauma today by letting them talk through it rather than bottle it up inside.”

Flynn blinked. “Okay, it’s exactly what it looks like.”

Jiya almost laughs. “I was coming by to do the same thing when I heard you two in there. Trust me, I know you weren’t getting up to any hanky panky.”

“Great, now that that’s settled,” he says wryly, moving past.

“Hey, Flynn,” Jiya stops him with a soft gesture. “I’m glad you two are friends again.”

He’s not sure how to respond to that, so he just says, “Thanks,” and heads back to his room.

_**Mira was a lot better the next day and she thanked me, almost shyly, for letting her blubber into my shirt. I told her my shirt was free to catch blubber anytime. We are such an idiot.** _

_**That should have been my first clue I was developing feelings for Mira.** _

_**We starting talking again, as we had in the past timeline. I may have been a changed man but there was still a lot we had in common. I asked about Brian and pretended I didn’t see the tears in her eyes as she spoke. I talked about Lorena and Iris, and she pretended she hadn’t heard the stories a few dozen times before.** _

_**There was a cultural history we shared, realities that the others just wouldn’t understand. I found that we agreed on a great many things... except pineapple on pizza, I will die on that hill.** _

“All we can do is sit and wait,” Lucy says as they find themselves outside the judge’s chambers of the U.S. Supreme Court in 1911.

Rittenhouse was trying to keep the Rockefeller juggernaut that was Standard Oil from being broken up by the Sherman Anti-Trust Act. If they succeeded, then Rittenhouse could have unfathomable control over the oil and gas industry. Thankfully, with the help of journalist Ida Tarbell, the team was pretty sure the judges would rule for breaking up Standard Oil.

But with the judges in chambers, all they could do, as Lucy said, was sit and wait. 

Wyatt and Flynn had been taking turns walking around the area, checking and double checking for Rittenhouse. They believed they got all the agents, but with Rittenhouse getting more and more desperate, the Time Team had to be even more vigilant.

Flynn found himself sitting on a bench in the hallway as Wyatt made his round. Lucy was next to him, reading a book she had snagged. Rufus was off getting something to drink. 

“Lucy,” he says her name quietly.

“Yeah?”

“That offer to talk still open?”

Lucy closed the book and sat it down next to her. She then gave him all of her attention. “It’ll never close.”

It almost surprised him, how little that hurts him now. To think of Lucy as a friend and nothing else. But that was part of the quandary he had found himself in.

“This is about Mira,” Lucy guessed when he waited too long to continue.

“I can see why my other self fell in love with her,” Flynn admits, leaning forward, arms on his knees. 

“She is your type,” Lucy lightly teased to help lighten the mood. 

Small, smart, and commanding. Yep, he had a type. “I think I’ve fallen for her, in this timeline.”

Lucy let out a sound that he could only interpret as a ‘you think?’ and a ‘took you long enough’ combined.

“What?” Flynn turns on her slightly. 

“We’ve all noticed how you two get along with each other,” Lucy explains in that teacher’s tone she sometimes slips into. “There is clearly chemistry there, more than you and I ever had.”

“Chemistry doesn’t make a relationship,” he reminds her, even as he acknowledges the truth that there is indeed a hell of a lot of chemistry between them. Like he had with Lorena, but different. Same intensity, different flavor. 

“It’s a good place to start,” she counters, her words soft and light. “But I don’t think that’s what’s bothering you.”

Flynn and Lucy may have been ill fated as lovers, but they did make a hell of a team, and good friends, before it all got ruined. Flynn was hardly surprised by her ability to figure him out. “How can I be sure of anything I’m feeling right now?”

“How can anyone, when it comes to love?” Lucy sighs, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You’re afraid you’re grasping at something simply because you had it once, in another lifetime.”

“Do you still believe in fate?” he says almost wistfully. “In meant to be?”

“I believe that you deserve to be happy,” she answers gently. “We will get your family back, but even if we don’t, if fate is that cruel, you know they’d want you to be happy, to have a family again.”

That voice crept into his head, the one reminding him of how he failed Lorena and Iris. Reminded him of all the violence he wrought and the blood on his hands. The one that reminded him he had become a monster, no longer worthy of his family… of any family… of love…

_“You are allowed to be loved...”_

He told himself this. This other person who had been through the same hell but found his peace. 

“What if I’m reaching for her because...” his words die out but Lucy understands.

“What if you’re being me, on the _Carpathia_ , reaching for something that you think you want because it will offer temporary relief,” she says without judgement or callousness. She knew what she had done, and long ago tried to apologize for it.

“Yeah...” he trails off, worried that he only wants to use Mira to not feel alone anymore, which wouldn’t serve either of them in the long run. 

“Have you discussed with this Mira?” Lucy asks.

“After a fashion,” he sighs. “I’m not her Flynn.”

“That Flynn wasn’t her Brian either.”

He wants to ask what she means by that, but the area starts to buzz, the judge’s ruling is about to come down. The discussion is tabled for now, but it gives Flynn a lot to think about.

_**I tried to limit my time with Mira. Finding excuses to work on other things. I thought it would help me get perspective. It only made me miss her even more.** _

_**I knew I was lost. That I had once again fallen in love with something unattainable. Mira had lost Brian and her Flynn. She grieved for both. I wasn’t going to open that wound back up by professing my love for her.** _

_**I could get through this, I could move on. Let her live her life without the shadow of her former lover to weigh her down.** _

“I really need to stay behind on this one,” Lucy said as Flynn walked with her into the launch room to see where Rittenhouse had gone this time. “I have so much to get done before we lose our window of opportunity.”

The rest of the team was already there, all gathered around as Rufus said, “July 16th, 1945… San Francisco.”

Lucy frowned. “That’s during World War II, but… I don’t know what they could be going after.”

“Wait.” Wyatt moved forward, looking over Rufus’ shoulder. “Where in San Francisco?”

There was a moment of quiet as Rufus tapped away, bringing up the map and coordinates. “Somewhere in this area, in the southwest corner of the city.”

“That’s the shipyards,” Wyatt said, standing up and addressing them. “The _USS Indianapolis_ launched from there on July 16th, 1945. It headed straight for Pearl Harbor, and then travelled straight on to Tinian. It was carrying the uranium used in the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima.”

“And it was sunk on the way back,” Lucy added, sadly. “The soldiers set adrift, dying of everything from dehydration to shark attacks. It was…”

Flynn could see it in her eyes, she wanted to say _Titanic_. They watched the ship go down, listened to the screams, and the cries, as people froze to death in the icy waters. Neither of them were wanting to relive that memory.

“So they’re either after the bomb,” Rufus said, oblivious to their non-verbal exchange. “Or wanting to change the outcome of the war?”

“Or both?” Wyatt helpfully pointed out.

Lucy turned to him. “You know a lot about the _Indianapolis_ and its mission, right?”

“Yeah.” He nodded.

“Then I’m going to stay behind,” she decided. “You can handle this one, and I can finish my work.”

Wyatt got up close to her, taking her hand, near whispering. “You sure?” 

There was a risk, that Wyatt could return and find his relationship with Lucy having disappeared, just as Flynn and Mira’s had. Rufus and Jiya felt safe, for it didn’t seem like there was any timeline where they didn’t love each other. Lucy and Wyatt were more in flux. Lucy had been with Flynn, albeit shortly, in one timeline. Could they come back to Lucy still being with Flynn, and not Wyatt? Or could Jessica be back and change things?

“I’m sure,” she reached up and touched his cheek, assuring him of her love. It did seem like no matter how things went, Lucy would always end up with him. 

Flynn didn’t look away, it didn’t hurt.

“Who gets the fourth seat?” Christopher asked.

“Mira,” Jiya volunteered the woman.

“What?” Mira’s head popped up, still not a fan of time travelling.

“Naval officers, nuclear weapons, it sounds like this mission could go south pretty easily,” Jiya pointed out, while actually pointing at Mira. “Best to send the medic. Besides, you’ll fit in easier than I will.”

After a little bit of argument from Mira, of which she lost, it was decided she would take the fourth seat. They jumped back to 1945 and everything went downhill from there.

“You realize we’re in the middle of the pacific, right?!” Rufus quietly shouted at Wyatt as they stood in the medbay of the _Indianapolis_. All dressed in naval uniforms.

“We’re not technically in the middle,” Wyatt shot back. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Rufus looked like he might be getting sea sick. “We’re on a boat, somewhere on the big blue wet thing!”

“It’s a ship,” Flynn said simply. Everyone looked at him. “It’s not a boat, it’s a ship.”

“Not helping.” Wyatt rolled his eyes.

“Flynn, Wyatt,” Mira nearly hissed their names, “figure this out. Rufus, come with me. I’ll find something for the sea sickness.”

“I’m not sea sick,” he said and even he didn’t believe it. “Okay, maybe I am. I can’t swim, so never spent much time on the water. Did you know the whole black people can’t swim is rooted in racial prejudice and white people not wanting to desegregate swimming pools?”

“This doesn’t surprise me.” Mira lead him into another compartment.

“The Rittenhouse agent is on board,” Flynn said after they left. “We still don’t know who they are or what their plan is regarding the nuclear cargo.”

“Yeah.” Wyatt agreed and looked far too pensive for Flynn’s liking.

“What?” he said forcefully.

“It’s just… the ship makes a stop at Pearl Harbor,” Wyatt explained. “We can get off there, get back to San Francisco another away.”

“But…?”

“If we don’t find the agent before then, if we have to follow on to Tinian, I don’t think they’ll let us stay there.” Wyatt was rapidly thinking. “The Island is tiny, and the base is going to be under tight security. They might think we’re spies. It was already dodgy how we got on board, with Mira no less.”

Flynn nodded. It was 1945 and women weren’t exactly to be found on naval ships unless they were to be transported somewhere. Usually part of a detachment or group, not on their own. “Wait, that would mean…”

“Yeah, we’d be on the ship on the way back from Tinian, when it’s sunk in shark infested waters, the survivors waiting for days to be rescued.”

“I’ve already been on a sinking ship,” he told Wyatt firmly. “Never again.”

“Then we better work fast. We have two days.”

And work they did. There was one thousand, one hundred and ninety-five crewmen on board. One or more of them worked for Rittenhouse. They talked to the crew, as subtly as they could, to try to figure out who stood out as not belonging. Even struck up some poker games to find their tells.

“We can’t save them?” Mira asked as they gathered again in the medbay. 

“I’m sorry,” Flynn said softly. “We don’t know how stopping the sinking would change history.”

“Screw history,” she nearly shouted at him. “What did Wyatt say? Only three hundred and sixteen men survive? That’s less than a third. We could save them all!”

“And who would we be condemning to die?” he came back harshly. “To be erased? How many people will lose their sisters? Their family? Never knowing what they lost?” 

Mira was angry at him, nearly fuming, the doctor in her rebelling at the thought of knowing so many where going to die and doing nothing to stop it. 

“I erased Amy.” Flynn doesn’t mean to tower over her but it happens. “I have to live with that. I watched the _Titanic_ go down. I could have stopped it, but I didn’t. I have to live with that as well, knowing I made the right decision.”

“You erase and create people all the time.” Mira doesn’t back down. “Just by going back in time. Hell, whatever you did in 1955 probably created me. It certainly put me in your path. And then took you away from me.”

Flynn breaks. “And I have to live with that too.”

Pain flashes through her eyes and she faulters.

“Mira,” Rufus says softly. “I know how you feel. I wanted to save Lincoln. But sometimes you just… can’t save the patient, you know?”

Wyatt added. “We know we do damage, we can’t stop history from changing. But to do so purposefully on such a large scale, that’s just… gross negligence.” 

“You don’t have to like it,” Flynn tells her. “I don’t think any of us likes it.”

There were general murmurs of agreement from the other two. None of them liked the situations they kept getting put into it. But if Rittenhouse had their way, not only would the timeline be massively changed, but in a way that benefitted their cult and their way of thinking. 

Mira backs away, shaking her head, but seemingly conceding to them. “Fuck time travel, and fuck Rittenhouse.”

She walks away, into the other compartment. They had one day left to find the agent, or agents. If they did, then they could disembark at Pearl Harbor and let history take its course. If they didn’t, then they would find themselves in the middle of a sinking ship. Could they stop themselves from changing history? Could they stop Mira?

Hours out from landfall, the team was getting a little desperate. 

That’s when they catch a lucky break. Rufus was watching the cargo for anything suspicious, and something suspicious did happen. Rufus got shot at, but Flynn and Wyatt chased the agent across the ship. Flynn ended up not ducking quick enough and headbutted a bulkhead, going down. Wyatt kept going, cornering the agent in the mess hall. 

It almost ended badly, for both of them, what with the other seamen not knowing what the hell was going on.

Captain McVay and the Master-at-Arms came in and put an end to all of it. Mira had brought the captain, making up a story about military intelligence, spies, etc. The incident would be classified top secret, going nearly unheard of for years.

“Well, good news,” Wyatt said as they stood on the docks, watching the _Indianapolis_ leave for Tinian. “We can catch a cargo transport back to San Francisco, but it leaves tomorrow.”

“So we’re stuck here overnight?” Rufus asked. “I suppose we could be worse places than Hawaii.”

“Let’s find a hotel, then maybe get some real food,” Wyatt said and they started to leave.

Mira was still watching the ship as it got smaller and smaller. Flynn reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. “It hurts, but we’re doing the right thing. Those men are soldiers, they knew the risks.”

“Like Brian?” she asks, her words so very hollow and damaged.

Unable to reply, he lets her slip away to follow Wyatt and Rufus.

The rest of the evening is subdued. They managed to get two rooms with what little money they had. Some of it they won during poker games on the ship, the rest they liberated from the Rittenhouse agent. They didn’t have to worry about saving it, they’d be back in the Lifeboat as soon as they got to the mainland.

Mira seemed to get a little better during dinner, perhaps allowing herself to believe it wasn’t 1945 and she was having a nice evening out with friends. Flynn decided that he was going to talk to Agent Christopher when they got back. Mira never made silent her not-love of time travelling. Maybe it was time they respected that and didn’t make her come.

“How’s your head?” he heard her say from the doorway to the room he was sharing with Rufus. She was still wearing her military nurse uniform of jacket and blouse over a pencil skirt.

Normally on these overnights, if they could get rooms, Lucy and Wyatt would share, leaving Flynn and Rufus to bunk together. There wasn’t enough space for three people in one of the rooms. But there were two beds, so Mira pretended to be the wife and would bunk with Wyatt.

“Good.” Flynn reached up and touched the bandage on his forehead. He had nearly given himself a concussion when he hit the bulkhead. He needed a couple of stitches but with Mira’s deft hand, she told him it shouldn’t scar that much. 

“I’d like to check it for infection before you go to bed,” she told him and entered, closing the door, her medical kit from the Lifeboat in hand. “It’s 1945, can’t be too careful.”

“Sure.” Flynn pulled out the desk chair and sat down. He’d been getting changed for bed, and by that, he took off his shoes, socks, jacket, overshirt, suspenders, and belt. It was all folded neatly on the desk. He’d sleep in his trousers and undershirt. 

Mira opened the kit, put on some gloves, and went to work. She pulled the bandage off, checked the wound for signs of infection. Cleaned it again. Then placed a fresh bandage over it. “Looks like you’ll be fine.”

“Thanks,” he says quietly, well aware of how close she is standing to him, and the fact she didn’t immediately move away.

“I wanted to apologize, for earlier,” she is just as quiet, removing her gloves and putting everything away. “You were right. I don’t have to like it, but we can’t make those kinds of decisions to radically change history. That’s… that would make us as bad as Rittenhouse.”

“It’s okay to be upset, though,” he tells her, looking up at her as now he’s just a bit shorter, sitting in the chair. “Empathy is never a bad thing.”

“Yeah,” she fumbles with the word. “I also wanted to say I was sorry, for the comments I made about 1955, about… you couldn’t have known your actions, the team’s actions, would change things so much. I shouldn’t have put that on you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he assures her, wanting to reach out and comfort her, she’s right there, but it’s not his place.

“I do… worry about it.” Mira looks him right in the eyes. “I fell in love with you. I never thought I would do that again after I lost Brian. But you came into my life and next thing I know, the pieces fit. And the very thing that brought you to me, took you away.”

He moves to speak but she silences with him by placing her hand on his cheek.

“I should have left,” she continues in a soft voice full of pain. “I should have walked away. But I stayed. I stayed and let myself be tortured every day when it became apparent you were still the man I fell in love with.”

“I didn’t realize,” he whispers at her. He knew it hurt, especially those first few weeks, but he thought she had been able to move on. 

“I didn’t want you to,” she admitted, her hand falling away. “I didn’t want you to feel obligated.”

Flynn frowned, something wasn’t right. “Why are you telling me this now?”

Mira took a measured breath. “When we get back, I’m leaving.”

The words stabbed him in places he thought were numb. “What…”

“I can’t do this,” she gestured around the room. “I am not built for time travel. I feel like I’m teetering on the edge of a panic attack the entire time.”

“I’ll talk to Agent Christopher,” he says, standing up, causing her to step back and he winces at that. Still, he tells her, “You’ll never have to come on another mission.”

Mira shakes her head. “That only solves half the problem.”

He almost asks what the other half is, but realizes he knows. She just told him. She’s still in love with him, the other him, and he’s too much of a reminder of what was. There is only one response to that. “Give me a chance.”

“What?” she nearly stutters.

Flynn takes her hand, it’s a risk, he knows that, but what does he have to lose now? “I know you said that thinking we had to be together because we had been once before was faulty logic. The letter was a biography, not an instruction manual. But I didn’t need an instruction manual to fall in love with you.”

Mira is trembling, tears gathering in her eyes and he feels like maybe his gambit failed. Perhaps he shouldn’t have played all his cards. Maybe she wasn’t ready to hear his declaration of love. It did not surprise Flynn that he just screwed up everything. Of course he did. What else would he have done?

Instead of running away, Mira tugs him into a hug, wrapping her arms around him. It’s a simple thing, meant to convey comfort between two friends. But a hug can be a promise, whether you want it to be or not. 

The moment is a blur, but all he knows is that he’s kissing her. His hand is cradling her neck as the other wraps around her waist. She’s flush against him and it feels perfect, feels right. There is fire there that spreads through their bodies, threatening to turn them into ash if they don’t do something to quench it. Flynn picks her up and sits her on the desk so he can get closer to her, hiking up her pencil skirt as her legs wrap around his hips. 

He hears the door open and in his peripheral he sees Rufus starting to walk in. Flynn grabs the closest object, a shoe, and throws it half-blindly at the other man. Rufus catches it, stumbles back, closing the door with him as he never let go of the doorknob. 

At this point, Mira is nibbling on his pulse point, hands up under his shirt. His hand goes back to her thighs, pushing the skirt higher, completely caught up in the moment. But he’s distracted by the banging on the door. Rufus shouting about at least wanting his stuff if he’s going to have to bunk with Wyatt. Don’t make him come in and get it.

With an annoyed huff of breath, Flynn pulls away and gives a ‘hold that thought’ gesture. He grabs Rufus’ duffle and walks to the door. He’s barely opened it when he throws the bag at Rufus who catches it with an oomph. Seeing his shoe still in the man’s hand, Flynn grabs it and slams the door shut just in time to see Wyatt standing behind Rufus, smirking like he won a bet or something.

Flynn turns back to see Mira standing, her military jacket open, skirt completely messed up, and otherwise looking completely wrecked.

“We…” his throat is so raw. “We can take it slow.”

“We’re at war,” she says as she slides her jacket the rest of the way off. “I lost you once, I could you lose you again. I’m not wasting another moment.”

_**We got back and yes, there had been a betting pool, yes, Wyatt did win, the smug little bastard.** _

_**We talked to Agent Christopher and she agreed that Mira didn’t have to go on any more missions unless it was absolutely vital to have a medic. If that meant leaving an open seat on occasion, then it would just be left empty.** _

_**Again, Mira kept her room, having a place she could retreat to if she needed some time to herself. The other couples slowly started to understand how important it was to have a separate physical space in a relationship, especially with all of us crammed in the bunker. But then they had never been married, never learned that lesson like we had.** _

_**And that’s where we are.** _

_**I found my peace again, after losing Lorena and Iris. I found it in Mira, whose name I’m just now realizing means peace. Maybe there is such a thing as fate, as meant to be.** _

_**I’m not giving up on saving my family, but I won’t give up on myself either.** _

Letters were left in their rooms, and letters were left in the Lifeboat. Just in case something happened, someone appeared or was forgotten. Every time, before he got into the Lifeboat, Flynn kissed Mira, a promise he would come back to her. Every time he got off the Lifeboat, his heart would clench for a moment, afraid she was gone again, until he saw her waiting.

“We do this,” Lucy was telling them. “We do this one thing and we can tear Rittenhouse apart at the seams.”

“I’ve searched all that I can,” Jiya adds, referring to her visions. “Between Lucy’s knowledge and what I’ve seen, we’ve found exactly what we need to do in order to destroy Rittenhouse.”

“We can destroy Rittenhouse…” Flynn can hardly believe it, even though it’s all he’s wanted since that horrible day in 2014.

“How much damage is this going to do,” Mira askes, “to the timeline?”

Everyone looks up at her, some failing not to glance between her and Flynn. Jiya is the only one brave enough to speak. “It’s fifty-fifty. If we do it right, then we basically leave Rittenhouse with a big ol’ Achilles heel that we can attack. Nothing changes, we’ll still have gone through all of this. But now Agent Christopher can go in and destroy all of Rittenhouse in a single swoop.”

“And if you don’t do it right?” 

“Rittenhouse still falls,” Jiya says, her voice teetering between emotions, “but the Team won’t know when it happened, not until they return. It could have been last month, last year.”

“Before 2014?” Flynn is the one to ask.

“Possibly…”

“That would be good, though,” Mira says, attempting to smile. “Your family will be safe.”

“Yes.” The idea of saving his family is so tempting. What would he give up to see that happen? His life, without question. “There is no way to predict when Rittenhouse would go under?”

“No,” Lucy says sadly. “There are too many variables, too many domino effects that could change the outcome. If we could predict it, then we’d all agree on when it would be because it would change our world’s drastically. We may never meet. I may or may not get Amy back.”

“We can’t risk making things worse,” Wyatt adds. “If we can’t control Rittenhouse’s destruction, if it happens in a timeline where no one is watching, then it could lead to splinter groups, to hostile takeovers, to lord knows what else. Taking them out in real time, we can be sure that we never have to worry about Rittenhouse ever again.”

“Then we can work on saving your family,” Lucy assures Flynn. “We’re not giving up on them, or Amy. Or even Jessica or Anthony. All of them are victims of Rittenhouse.”

The group is quiet, they all know what is at risk, and what is most important. 

They agree to leave in the morning, so long as the Mothership doesn’t jump before then. It gives everyone time to rest up and prepare themselves. If things didn’t go exactly as planned, then they would all pay the price for stopping Rittenhouse.

Lucy and Wyatt would remember each other, their love, but they had to worry about coming back to a world where they possibly never met. Where Lucy could be married to Noah, or someone else. Where Wyatt could still be married to a non-Rittenhouse or Rittenhouse Jessica. He might even be dead if he never got help for his PTSD. 

With no fifth seat, Jiya would be left behind, and there was the risk that her relationship with Rufus would develop differently. That she wouldn’t have her powers or have spent all this time in the bunker with him. But at least she would know about time travel, she would understand, read the letter she wrote herself. There was no timeline where she and Rufus didn’t fall in love.

“This might be goodbye,” Mira tells Flynn as they stand in his room. 

Mira couldn’t go either. And if Rittenhouse fell before 2014, Flynn would come back to his family alive, though he’d have to leave them because they wouldn’t know the man he had become. And Flynn couldn’t deny that a part of him wished for this, and Mira wouldn’t fault him for that. But saving them would mean he would never meet Mira. Letters would mean nothing to someone who doesn’t know time travel exists.

If it meant saving his family, then he would pay the price of being alone.

But fate may be even more cruel. What if she was right, what if going to 1955 created her instead of just putting her in their path? She could cease to exist altogether. He would never forgive himself if that happened, if he erased someone else. Especially someone that he loved. He was responsible for his family’s deaths, and he would be responsible for Mira’s.

Flynn hauls Mira against him and brands her lips.

She pushes him to the bed and they taste salt as they work to memorize every inch of skin.

“Whatever happens, the mission is more important,” she tells him some time later as they hold each other under the bedsheet. “We have to stop Rittenhouse. Even if that means erasing me—my time here.”

“I can’t lose you,” he whispers, the added comment of _not like I lost Lorena, I can’t go through that again_ left unspoken.

“Yes, you can, and you know why?” Mira smiles so softly and gently at him. “Because you’re allowed to be loved, Garcia Flynn.”

Flynn feels like he should rebel at those words, but finds he no longer wants to fight them.

“If your family is back,” she continues, “then you should go to them. Try again, to at least be a father to Iris. There isn’t as much darkness in you as you think there is.”

He holds her tighter. 

“But if you don’t have Lorena, and if you don’t have me, don’t think you’re meant to be alone.” 

_**I am allowed to be loved.** _

_**I can’t forget that, never again.** _

A war is waging inside Flynn as they load into the Lifeboat after completing the mission. 

“Moment of truth, huh?” Rufus says as the door closes and they strap in.

They can only hope they come back to the same world they left, only now with Rittenhouse sporting a blind spot that will be their undoing. Otherwise, who knows what they might find.

The Lifeboat hurtled through time and Flynn rapidly considered all the possible outcomes. 

Ultimately, he would want things to be the same so that they could dedicate their resources towards finding a way to save Lorena and Iris without letting Rittenhouse win. Giving them the full lives that they deserve. But he would be a damn liar if he said he wouldn’t be relieved if he came back to find them alive, hopefully safe and happy. 

He hated himself for all of his thoughts. Wanting to save his family, at the cost of Mira. Wanting to keep Mira, at the cost of not saving his family, _yet_.

Fate seemed especially cruel to him. But this time, whatever awaited him on the other side of that door, he would never give up on his family, never give up on Mira, and never give up on himself.

The Lifeboat lands and everyone glances at each other, afraid of what they might be met with if they didn’t do this right. 

“Who’s going first?” Rufus asks them.

They could be back at Mason Industries. They could be at either bunker. They could be in a vacant lot. 

Their friends could be waiting for them. It could be strangers. It could be hostiles.

“I’ll go,” Flynn offers. If there are strangers or hostiles out there, he’s best equipped to deal with either. 

As the door cycles open, Flynn quickly takes stock of what he’s walking into. It’s the bunker, the second one, after the incident with Jess. Did that mean Chinatown happen?

He hears the ladder rolling in front and looks down to see Jiya pushing it into place. She glances up and smiles lightly at him. That means he’s no longer an enemy, that he proved himself to the team.

Everything looks exactly how they left it, Agent Christopher and Mason walking towards them.

“Where’s Mira?” Flynn asks as soon as he’s at the bottom of the stairs.

“Mira?” Jiya blinks and ice runs through Flynn’s veins, his stomach dropping out. “She’s in the med room, where else would she be?”

Flynn feels like he was hit by a truck, stood up, only to then be hit by a bus. Without thinking he just moves, his long strides taking him towards the med room. He can hear Jiya asking the rest of them, “Where did you guys go?”

He’d leave the explanations to the others.

Mira is standing at the counter when he nearly rushes in. She’s got a clipboard in her hand and seems to be taking stock of something. She glances up at the sudden arrival and smiles at him.

Flynn almost rushes forward, to envelop her, but what if... “Are we lovers?”

That... did not come out the way he intended it to, so bluntly and almost crass. He mentally kicks himself as Mira blinks at him.

“Well,” Mira says thoughtfully, “I would hope so, otherwise I owe you a lot of back payment for that thing that you do with your tongue. Because that is clearly a bankable serv—”

Flynn is kissing her, wrapping her in his arms and breathing her in. For an hour and a day, he stands there just holding her, letting himself accept that maybe, just maybe, he was allowed to have this.

“What’s wrong?” she asks him softly. “Where did you go?”

He needs to double check, but in his gut, he knows the plan worked. Now it’s up to Agent Christopher to do her job. They set Rittenhouse up so Homeland could knock them down. 

He helped stop Rittenhouse.

He found love again.

And next he will save his family. 

Perhaps fate isn’t cruel... it’s just a little slow sometimes.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, it is possible there will be a third story dealing with Flynn saving his family and all that lovely angst. But I make no promises at this time.


End file.
